Sleep is a core pillar of mental, physical, and emotional well-being, but it’s something that so many people struggle with. I’ve struggled with it, too! As a dietitian, Health Coach, and Pilates instructor, I’m certainly not immune to challenges that all humans go through, and like most of us, I’ve certainly learned a few things the hard way.
For so much of my life, sleep was a challenge for me. My nutrition and exercise routines felt easeful and aligned with how I wanted to feel on a daily basis, but at night I’d toss and turn. I struggled with insomnia even as a little girl, and it continued into high school, then college, and then into early adulthood.
I’d go through phases where I slept a little better, but more often than not it felt like a battle. It even got to the point where every night, when I got into bed, I’d wonder if this was going to be a restful night. Or would it be one of those nights where I was in and out of bed until my alarm went off? I even found myself delaying going to bed because I felt so stressed about it.
When we consider that factors like hormonal fluctuations, stress, and trauma can impact sleep, I can look back and say that those definitely played a role in my own experience. However, I completely lacked any kind of sleep routine. Despite being a healthcare provider, I’d received minimal education on sleep hygiene.
I didn’t start becoming intentional about my own sleep until I was 31. My dad had just gotten diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and I turned my life upside down to help take care of him. As I talk about in my second book, The Farewell Tour: A Caregiver’s Guide to Stress Management, Sane Nutrition, and Better Sleep, my biggest self-care struggle during the 15-month course of his cancer journey was poor sleep. It felt like every time I closed my eyes, my brain lit up with all the thoughts I’d pushed aside during the day. It impacted so many parts of my life and my health.
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While that wasn’t (and probably won’t be) the last time in my life I struggled with sleep, it was a turning point for me because it finally prompted me to develop a sustainable sleep routine. The difference now is that when sleep doesn’t come as easily, I have a toolbox of tools that can help me get back on track more quickly.
Here are just a few valuable sleep basics that I wish I’d known when I was younger.
This is Sleep Hygiene 101. Our sleep cycle is strongly impacted by temperature (research suggests that the ideal temperature is somewhere between 65 and 68 degrees Fahrenheit), light (due to its impact on melatonin, a hormone which regulates our sleep cycle), and sound.
During the time of my dad’s illness, I was living alone in New York City and shuffling between my apartment, the hospital where he got treatment, and my parents’ home in New Jersey. My apartment was hot, light was filtering in at all hours, and with New York being New York, there was always disruptive noise (from the neighbors above, the constant ding of the elevator down the hall, you name it).
I was so used to it that it never even occurred to me to get a fan, wear an eye mask, or get ear plugs, all things that could have made my set-up a little more conducive to restful sleep.
Earlier in my life, in a word I could best be described by my friends and family as “caffeinated.” Coffee was my personality. However, I found that after age 30, my body just couldn’t handle the eight cups a day I was used to (yes, eight!). So that year I cut back to four cups, and stayed there for a few years. But over time, I found that I needed to have much less caffeine than that if I wanted to have restful sleep.
Studies have shown that caffeine can reduce total sleep time and efficiency. Data from a 2023 review suggests not drinking caffeinated coffee at least 8.8 hours before bed, and not consuming caffeinated products, like a pre-workout supplement, at least 13.2 hours before bed. In everyday terms, that might look like having a morning coffee and then switching to decaf in the afternoon.
While alcohol can make you feel relaxed and sleepy at first, alcohol consumption — especially when excessive — has been linked in studies to poor sleep quality and duration. Because alcohol is a sedative, it can cause someone to fall asleep, and it often puts them into a deeper-than-usual sleep very quickly, disrupting the balance of slow-wave and REM sleep throughout the night. This leads to poorer sleep quality, increased sleep interruptions, and shorter sleep duration overall.
In my own life, it wasn’t until I was about 35 that I finally decided to take a break from alcohol to see if it improved my sleep during a stressful time. The difference was profound. I never felt the desire to go back to drinking regularly. For my clients who do choose to drink, I encourage them to do so very sparingly and in small amounts. I also encourage them to choose what will be truly satisfying for them. If you do choose to stop drinking, there’s a wide world of non-alcoholic beverages to explore.
Read More: How to Get Better Sleep: 10 Ways to Improve Your Sleep Health
When I lived alone, I had a habit of working very long days that started early and ended late. I’d work my face off until I realized I should probably go to bed. Today, I have a white board on the fridge in my kitchen, and during busier seasons I’ll write “Jess is not allowed to work past 9 pm” on it.
My husband and I kind of laugh about it, but the truth is sometimes we need all the reminders we can get about the importance of wind-down time at the end of the day to shift from “doing” into “resting” mode.
Sleep experts recommend giving yourself at least 30 minutes before you get into bed. Dim the lights in your home, do a relaxing activity (I look forward to my evening skincare routine), and calm the mind with a ritual like journaling (my go-to), meditation, or prayer.
Our body likes consistency, and when we go to bed and wake up at different times, it becomes difficult for the body to recognize when it’s time to be asleep and when it’s time to be awake. Another key element of good sleep hygiene is having a consistent sleep schedule. This means going to bed and waking up around the same time, even on weekends.
When I was younger, I worked seven days a week. I often worked well into the night, and I sometimes had to be at the hospital for a super-early shift the next morning. My sleep schedule was all over the map. My body had no idea what “bedtime” was supposed to be because I was constantly shifting my bedtime depending on what events or projects I had scheduled for each night. It took some time to adjust my mindset, but what helped a lot was choosing which invitations to say yes to based on what time I wanted to be in bed.
Even though we know that taking care of our well-being benefits others in our lives, too, many of us are just not conditioned to prioritize ourselves. I grew up being conditioned to be “good,” and to always put others first by putting everyone’s schedule and needs ahead of mine. The result was burnout. While changing our mindset isn’t easy, the moment you stop believing that taking care of yourself is selfish is the moment you unlock a healthier, happier life for yourself.
To get more of Jessica's insights on the connections between nutrition, lifestyle, and mental health, visit her website at jessicacordingnutrition.com.