How to Reduce Stress and Find Your Calm During the Holiday Season

Gain a better understanding of the different types of stress and how stress can affect your body as well as healthy ways to manage stress through diet and lifestyle in our Stress 101 Guide. 

Let’s face it: While the holidays can be joyous and wonderful, they’re also downright stressful.  

Tons of plans. Awkward family dynamics. Unhealthy food. Travel. Gifting. 

How do you mitigate your stress levels, find your calm, and maintain your overall wellness during this overwhelming time? We asked the experts for their thoughts, strategies, and advice. 

Check out our holiday wellness roundtable, featuring licensed holistic psychotherapist Vanessa Bennett, LFMT, Stanford-certified compassion teacher and clinical nutritionist Jessica Brown, and author Geneen Roth. 

Remember to take care of yourself this holiday season, practice self-compassion, and enjoy your time with loved ones.  

Practical Strategies to Reduce Stress During the Holidays 

IIN: The holidays are stressful. What are some simple ways to reduce stress during the holiday season? 

Vanessa Bennett, LMFT: Here are three simple ways to take the edge off during this time of year, which can feel a tad overwhelming:  

• Create Boundaries Around Your Time: It’s easy to overcommit during the holidays, but your time and energy are finite (and the most precious thing you have). Before saying yes to every invitation, take a moment to pause and ask yourself, “Does this serve me or drain me?” It’s okay to politely decline invitations or suggest alternatives that feel more manageable (even if it ruffles some feathers along the way). 

• Embrace the Power of Rituals: Incorporate small, grounding rituals into your day, like a five-minute morning meditation, a mindful cup of tea, or taking a moment to connect with your senses. Whether it’s feeling the warmth of your hands around a mug, listening to the sounds outside your window, or savoring the scent of something soothing or yummy, letting your body lead can create a sense of gratitude and calm.  

• Delegate and Simplify: You don’t have to do it all. Delegate tasks to family members, or simplify your holiday plans. Maybe this is the year to order the pies instead of baking them, or to host a potluck instead of a full sit-down dinner.  

Jessica Brown: The holidays can definitely be stressful! Here are a few simple ways to navigate those challenges: 

1. Normalize the Stress: Acknowledge that stress is a normal part of the holidays. Talk to yourself with compassion about what's causing you anxiety. For example, you might say, "OK, a lot is going on this year with family dynamics, and I feel nervous about it all. I'm going to do my best to manage the extra stress.”
2. Prioritize Self-Care: Give yourself permission to take extra care of your needs. When stress levels rise, our bodies and minds often need more time to adjust and recover. Anticipate this need and plan for breaks when you might need them.
3. Validate Your Feelings: Expect and normalize big feelings, especially if there's potential for conflict. Practice compassionate self-talk. For example, if you feel overwhelmed, ask yourself, "What do I need right now?"
4. Set Boundaries: Decide what you're willing to do and what you're not willing to do. This might involve saying "no" to certain events or setting limits on how much time you spend with specific people.
5. Practice Mindfulness: Take time each day to connect with the present moment. This could involve deep breathing exercises, meditation, or simply spending a few minutes in nature.

Geneen Roth: Whether something is stressful depends on what you are telling yourself. It depends on you schlepping memories of the past into the present and rolling them in front of you like a carpet so they become your future. When you say, think, or chant that “Holidays are stressful, holidays are stressful,” you are putting a spell on yourself. A spell of stress. And then you walk right into it. You allow it to be so. 

Stop telling yourself stories. Stop bringing up painful or challenging memories from the past and singing their songs. Bring yourself back to this moment. Ask yourself this: If the part of your brain that was responsible for memories — including your name and your history — was gone, who would you be? Look around. You’d still have eyes to see. Ears to hear. A mouth to taste. And a heart to feel. Stay with what’s here now. There is no suffering in the present moment, only situations to meet and take action upon. If you bring yourself back to this moment when you wander into scary stories, the notion of stress disappears. 

How to Manage Awkward Family Dynamics 

IIN: It can be quite challenging to be around certain family members during the holiday season. There are disagreements, arguments, and different points of view. What can you do to mentally prepare yourself for potentially uncomfortable and awkward encounters? What mindset shifts can you make in the moment to ensure that these encounters are relatively smooth and stress-free? 

Vanessa Bennett, LMFT: Family gatherings can bring joy, but they can also bring tension. To mentally prepare yourself for potentially uncomfortable encounters, consider these strategies: 

• Set Clear Intentions and Timeframes: Before you walk into a family gathering, set an intention for how you want to show up. For example, you might decide to focus on staying curious and compassionate rather than reactive. If it’s a gathering that you know will bring heat, communicate up front that you have a hard out at a specific time, and then stick to it.  

• Practice Radical Acceptance: Remind yourself that you can’t control other people’s behaviors or opinions — only your response to them. Radical acceptance is about letting go of the fight to change what’s outside of your control. 

• Reframe the Moment: Instead of seeing the interaction as a battle to win or lose, try reframing it as an opportunity to practice patience, empathy, boundaries, or all the other super fun things you’ve been learning in therapy. 😉  

Jessica Brown: This year may be particularly hard for some families due to the recent election. If that's the case, it's wise to agree beforehand not to discuss politics. But if differing viewpoints do come up, try shifting into active listening mode. This means actively listening to what the other person is saying from a neutral place. You don't have to agree with them; it simply means you're making a conscious effort to understand their perspective. 

Another helpful technique is cultivating inner peace. Have a peaceful mantra ready to repeat to yourself before entering a family gathering. Here are a few examples: 

• "Peace be with you."
• "I'm so sorry we have to do it this way — peace be with us all."
• "I can hold onto peace within myself, even if someone is saying something I disagree with."

Geneen Roth: Being around people — family or friends — who trigger old ways of being (because they see you as you were, not as you are) can indeed be unsettling. The more you can be on your own side — treat yourself with kindness and tenderness, set whatever boundaries are necessary — the calmer you will feel, and this calmness will radiate from you into everything and everyone with whom you come into contact. In this way, you, me, we change the world one breath at a time. We create heaven on earth by embodying relaxation, spaciousness, and calm. All it takes is three breaths. Now.  

Finding Your Calm Amid the Chaos 

IIN: What are your personal strategies for finding your calm during the stressful holiday season?  

Vanessa Bennett, LMFT: When stress starts to rise, these strategies help me reset:  

• Move Your Body: Whether it’s a quick walk around the block, a yoga session, jumping up and down and shaking your limbs, or even a dance party in your kitchen, movement helps release pent-up stress and restores equilibrium.  

• Create a Sacred Space: Designate a quiet corner in your home where you can retreat when you need to decompress. Environment has a huge impact on our nervous system, and even five minutes spent in a space that feels calming can do wonders for your state of mind.   

• Discover Moments of Awe and Joy: Seek out small, meaningful experiences that evoke a sense of wonder or delight. This could be stepping outside to watch the sunset, noticing the sparkle of holiday lights, or sharing a laugh with a loved one. These moments don’t just bring joy — they ground you in the present and help you savor the season. Research shows that moments of awe have a profound positive impact on our brains.  

Jessica Brown: Self-care, for me, means creating space to recharge. Here are a few of my go-to strategies: 

• Prioritize Relaxation: I love baths, so when things are stressful, I take a warm bath in the evening instead of watching TV. 

• Create a Haven: I keep a few extra "safe" foods on hand just in case there are limited options while family is visiting. 

• Schedule Solitude: I excuse myself to head off to bed 30-60 minutes earlier during busy times so I have more time to relax and read in bed. Quiet time helps me recharge. 

• Communicate Needs: I let my family know when I feel overwhelmed and need some space. 

• Simplify Meals: I give myself permission to order more takeout dinners to reduce cooking stress. 

• Don’t Plan Anything After the Holidays: This allows me to have a week or two to adjust back to normal after the holidays are over.

Geneen Roth: My personal strategies for holidays are the same as my strategies for living day to day. I don’t call them strategies; they are ways of being alive. Of living fully. When I open my eyes every day, I put two fingers in the middle of my chest and take three deep breaths, as if to say, Look around, sweetheart. You are alive. Take it in. Breathe. Allow yourself to have what’s here. Meditation is another way of saying, Remember who you already are. Who you have always been. Remembering what is here in every moment of your life, and bringing yourself back to this present moment, is the easiest, most direct way of doing this.  

And let’s talk about food! How you eat is how you live. How you approach food during the holidays is how you approach food in other “special” situations. On your birthday or anniversary. If you give yourself the excuse of “oh well, it’s the holidays, what the hell,” you are giving yourself a way to go unconscious. To numb yourself in the guise of having a good time. What if every day you are alive is a kind of holiday? What if the very fact that you woke up today is cause for celebration? What if you take the holidays as a chance to take even better care of yourself, as a chance to be tender and kind to yourself? As a chance to wake up to the abundance that is always here? 

How to Keep Your Health and Fitness Levels Up 

IIN: What is the most effective way to maintain your overall wellness, and healthy eating habits, during the unpredictable (and often stressful) holiday season? 

Vanessa Bennett, LMFT: The unpredictability of holiday schedules can throw off healthy habits, but here are some ways to stay on track:  

• Eat Mindfully: Instead of focusing on restriction, aim for balance. Enjoy your favorite holiday treats, but also prioritize nutrient-dense foods that keep you feeling energized and grounded.  

• Stick to Movement You Love: The holidays aren’t the time for punishing workouts. Instead, focus on movement that brings you joy — whether it’s a brisk winter walk, a dance class, or gentle stretching.  

• Stay Hydrated: I know this sounds so simple that it’s almost silly, but between festive cocktails and salty holiday foods, it’s easy to forget about water. Make a habit of keeping a glass or bottle of water nearby to stay hydrated.  

• Maintain Simple Daily Habits: Instead of setting lofty goals or resolutions during the holidays, focus on small, consistent practices that ground you. This could be as simple as a few minutes of morning stretching, drinking a glass of water before meals, or taking three deep breaths before starting your day. While sleep is critical for wellness, many of us face challenges in prioritizing it. When uninterrupted rest isn’t possible, aim for moments of rest and recharge whenever you can, and be gentle with yourself about what’s realistic.  

Jessica Brown:  This may surprise you, but I give myself full permission to not maintain "healthy" habits during the holidays if I feel overwhelmed, tired, or busy. I prioritize doing what feels manageable given my circumstances. 

That said, staying in tune with my body is key. Sometimes I need to move to feel better. Instead of my usual HIIT class, I might walk to the beach and back or relax in the sauna. Flexibility and self-compassion are my go-to strategies during the holidays. 

Geneen Roth: Maintaining your health and fitness levels during the holidays is about following through, and continuing to do what takes care of you. It is about resolutely being on your own side. Being the one you have been waiting for. This will mean different things to different people. To me it means doing and being what I know relaxes me. It means listening closely and not sacrificing my integrity, authenticity, or well-being for anything or anyone, because it’s never worth it.

Learn how to find your inner calm and stay balanced through every season with our Calm Mind and Body Bundle.